My little Artist

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Monday, November 30, 2009

I've deleted every single mutual friend related to her, that's her request... I do not wish to see any of her friends caught in between as they are not always so updated.
I'm a junk, I'm an ass-hole... Something is just not correct. I never intend to let you know as I'm going into army in less than half a year time and she's already going to be in Czech. Yes I do love her a lot. In fact I've never loved anyone in this lifetime like for her, she has shown me what unconditional love means and that's why I loved her so much. I told her that I had girlfriend and she broke down, same like you. But she took it in such a more gracious way, and she told me that she cannot love me like the way you do, where you are always by my side, concerning and caring for me for we are far apart. She is glad that I have you and I should continue my happiness with you and she'll go out of picture, you might think that she's slut for doing that for it may be part of her devious plan, but it's not. It took me a very hard time to convinced her not to leave this relationship.
I had never viewed either of you as plan B. Both of you have your own uniqueness, both of you make me smile in a different way of your own. All these time, you have become more and more like my wife image, and she is already my wife material image.
As much as I fantasies of a great happy ending with her, both of us knows that there is our own difficulty and challenges, hence we had never try to think too much into it, we just try to love while we can and treasure the time.
I do not know if this is the best for both you and my situation, but whatever has happened had happened and could not had been done any better. Even if I have to die a million times, this same thiing will still happen.
This is a journey, the end point is not marked till the very last breathe we take. I cannot see the future, No one can...
Guess, my comfortable with you and so much that you have become part of my life, I have to start getting in tune and change according to it. Sundays are never the same anymore, Dinners are never the same anymore, Movies are never the same anymore.
What I have done to you is my fault, that's why I always say that people always say I'll be successful and I worry because of ALL THESE! Not others but THESE... That was what I always meant, That's what I always meant when I told you that I'm not a good boyfriend, THAT WAS WHAT I MEANT.
I owe you too much in this life that nothing can be repaid. I won't end my life and no single human being will take my life. Since you left... I wish you best, don't have to forgive me and i'm glad that you do not hate me.
Kiss me goodbye all bonds broken all strings detached all ties losened and both soul seperated.
You'll always be in good memory, though not the best.

I Draw @ 4:53 PM